Black Lives Matter?

5 min readDec 28, 2020

A question. An exclamation. A whisper. A statement.

“It’s also about Oscar.
Aiyana.
Trayvon.
Rekia.
Michael.
Eric.
Tamir.
John.
Ezell.
Sandra.
Freddie.
Alton.
Philando.
It’s even about that little boy in 1955 who nobody recognized at first — Emmett.”
― Angie Thomas, The Hate U Give

The words “Say his name” are written with red paint on a black brick wall — Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I remember when I first got involved in the Black Lives Matter movement. It was in 2012, and George Zimmerman murdered Trayvon Martin. I was in college at Winston-Salem State U, studying for my Bachelor of Social Work degree. I followed the highly-publicized deaths and trials of Eric Garner, Ezell Ford, Michael Brown, Walter Scott, and Freddie Gray while earning my Master of Social Work degree from Winthrop University from May 2014 to May 2015. Unfortunately, that list of Black men murdered by law enforcement in one short year is not all-encompassing; those are simply the ones that I readily remember.

I recollect feeling overwhelmed in one of my classes and having a moment in the hallway where I felt like I would collapse. I was tearful and feeling overcome by the gravity of social events at that time, coupled with adjusting to being at a predominantly white university after spending four years at a historically black university. One of my professors, a middle-aged white woman, opened her office door and allowed me to cry there. I expressed outrage. I expressed pain. I let her know how I was having a difficult time, and I felt powerless to do anything about it.

I remember how well she listened.

This article is not meant to be persuasive. Instead, this piece is intended to provide a personal perspective and perhaps some insight into your own heart.

Wherever you are on your journey, whether the words “Black Lives Matter” are punctuated with a question mark or an exclamation point, mouthed as a whisper or a statement… Know that there is room for you here.

Let’s start with Black Lives Matter as a question. It should come as no surprise to anyone that has been in the United States for any amount of time or for anyone that is up to date on current events. It is not entirely clear if Black lives do, in fact, “matter.” What does it mean for Black lives to matter? It means that Black lives are seen as just as valuable as white lives are in this country. History tells us that when Black people and other people of color commit crimes, they are not held to the same standard that white people are granted in this country. Black people and other people of color are executed at a higher rate than white people. A disproportionate number of Black people and people of color are in poverty, and the list goes on. We have had one non-white president in this country's history and will soon have our first non-white vice president in the year 2021. These statistics do not affirm that Black lives matter, and it is a curious statement to make. As a Black woman, it is not so much a question of if Black lives matter or not — rather, Black lives matter, to who?

Black Lives Matter! An exclamation and a rallying cry. Emmett Till’s life mattered to his mother, and I would argue that his life and death continue to matter to this day, as we fight for justice for young men and women like him that continue to be the victims of violence. Black Lives Matter, an exclamation, in my experience, is often influenced by anger. Anger with the current state of affairs. Black Lives Matter! Perhaps if we raise our voice, someone will hear. Maybe then, someone will notice. Maybe if we are loud enough, we can convince someone to care.

Black Lives Matter. Perhaps you find yourself among those that are exhausted. A whisper is all you can manage at this time. Maybe you work in an environment that stifles the voices of Black people. Perhaps you are part of a family that supports the oppressive system that systematically denies Black people justice. It could be that you have Black friends, family members, or associates, and you don’t know how to affirm both their experience and your own.

Black Lives Matter is a statement. For those, like myself, who are past the pain of the question and the anger of the exclamation — know that the phrase, Black Lives Matter, is a complete sentence, and there is no need to split hairs or add “if, and, or but.” As a Black woman, my personal experience is not to be negotiated.

For you, whether you are Black, White, or identify as something else entirely — your experience is also wholly yours to own and share. What I remember most from that early conversation with my professor, who undoubtedly had a different life experience from me — was how well she listened. I am not encouraging you to express your pain or confusion to people that cannot hear you, nor am I suggesting that you subject yourself to violent discourse. I urge you to find a safe space where you are heard and seen, be that with a professor, a friend, a significant other, or a therapist. Simultaneously, I encourage you to make space in your life to safely hear and see those around you.

As I mentioned earlier, this piece was not meant to be persuasive. I wanted to provide a glimpse of my experience and attempt to empathize with you wherever you are on your journey.

Please see below for a list of resources on how you can educate yourself on the Black Lives Matter movement, fact-check any of my claims above, and get a crash course on the history of race relations in this country. Furthermore, there are resources for your place of business and some bullets on how you can take action today.

Resources and Trainings:

Taking Action:

Becoming Educated:

Black Lives Matter?

Written by Tia Wheeler, LCSW